Rather than suggesting that players are flouting rules, the government would be better off examining its own mishandling of the pandemic

If you’re celebrating a goal in the coming weeks, or thinking of celebrating a goal, or know someone who might be, then please adhere to this simple, three-part process: first CONTROL (your feelings), then SHUN (your teammates), and PERFORM (a short dance move designed by yourself or your agent and easily replicable on social).

Remember those three words and they just might help keep you infinitesimally more safe this winter. And deny Matt Hancock another soapbox to jump on. Because, were you to have been following the news these past few days, you might have come away with the impression that one of the most pressing issues facing our country in January 2021 is an absence of social distancing in the close-contact sport known as Association Football.

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